Still on the Journey

I'm plugging along with my diet and exercise routine - not doing as well with the exercise portion, but still working ahead. I'm also spending time finishing up a little of my unfinished Beth Moore and have been reading about peace.

While I have many areas that God still needs to work through me with His Spirit, peace and self-control seem to be the biggest ones for me. Last night, I was reading about Jesus as He was taking His men through the Valley of Kidron to the Mount of Olives. He, of course, knew exactly what was to happen that night, that He would be taken into custody. He knew that one of the very men who was His closest friend was going to betray Him. As I thought about betrayals I've experienced in the past, most of them have been by the people closest to me. In fact, some of them have been by family members. I thought about the woundings, the overwhelming sense of sadness and anger that I have felt when I have been betrayed by those closest to me. Did I experience peace? Hardly! Unlike Jesus who knew that His close friend was going to betray Him in the most horrible way, I would have chosen to put MAJOR distance between myself and my betrayer on the front end had I known of the tremendous hurt and disappointment that I would experience. In a few cases, I would have rather never had those friendships had I known how they would end. Jesus, though, continued to keep Judas close to Him, in His inner circle, knowing exactly the outcome.

As Peter whacked off the ear of one of Jesus' pursuers, Jesus healed the man's ear. Now, that's true and immediate forgiveness! For me, forgiveness has taken years, and in some cases, I can't honestly say that there is not pain that wells up inside of me as I think of my perpetrators. I still have to ask for God to help me forgive in those instances. And do I experience peace? Perhaps I do after a period of time and distance, but not always.

As Jesus was led away, He knew that He was not in the hands of the soldiers or the religious leaders as the situation appeared. Instead, He accepted that He was in His Father's hands. He walked away with those men with a supernatural peace. That's the kind of peace that I want, the kind that comes not from comfortable circumstances, but the kind that can only come from the Holy Spirit. My prayer last night and today is that God would fill me with that peace that makes no situational sense at all. I want to be filled with the peace of the Holy Spirit living AND being allowed to work inside of me. I realize that that only comes from my surrender to Him. May I surrender myself each day to the Spirit's working inside of me and experience TRUE peace!!