How do you go from running crazy, wishing life would slow down for just a moment, a completely packed schedule to nothing, loneliness and depression? I read constantly, and I'm actually reading books that are fun and hold my interest, keep me enthralled. I still have my four children and my husband and my home to care for, and yet...the loneliness and depression.
Carson is in Rock Band Camp this week so he's very busy with that. William and Kitty are in Drama Camp this week, and they're having a blast, very busy and loving every minute of it. Jia hangs with me, and we ran errands today, got manicures, had lunch, even stopped by the library to get library cards.
As my niece would say, "It's a Kitty-ism." This particular Kitty-ism is one I could live without! All of the little ones will be back in school July 8th, and then what? I've committed to NOT committing to anything except my weekly doctor's appointment and Sunday morning children's service and Worship Team. There has to be a place in-between the running until I'm about to lose it and the feeling that it's hard to even get up in the morning, the waiting all day until I can go to sleep at night.
How can someone living in a house full of people be so lonely? What am I supposed to be doing? I miss my Danea, my precious sister-in-law and bestest friend in the Universe. I miss my Mom. At times like this, I miss my husband who's upstairs in bed. It's just loneliness and a feeling of emptiness, and it absolutely sucks!
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so sorry to hear that Kitty...I have felt the same before. Who knows why we feel that way..maybe because we are just imperfect humans on this imperfect earth and therefore cannot experience unending happiness and comfort.
ReplyDeleteWish I couldn't relate but I am right there with you! I am home with 4 kids all day long, feeding them, taking them places, being with them, yet I have this sense of loneliness that is just dragging me down. I feel crazy telling people I am lonely when I have a house full of children.....and even when you know that God should fill that void...right there with you! You are in my prayers!
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ReplyDeleteActually, Rowland didn't say anything. I was logged in as Rowland. Bekah and Bronwyn, thank you for the kind words. At least I know that I'm not crazy - or ya'll are, too!
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