An Anxious Warrior

Interesting that I've been thinking so much this week about love, empathy, and compassion. Interesting also that I've been specifically thinking about Jesus' Commandments to Love God and Love Others, summing up our role as followers of Christ. As promised in God's Word, the Devil is always lurking, ready to take us down, watching for the precise moment when he can throw us into a maelstrom and try to drown us. Certainly, my life is no exception; while I have the armor of Christ, as long as I'm in battle with the Devil, I'm a target of his.

The words of the day are confrontation and anxiety, two of my least favorite! What does it look like to be in confrontation with another who's not a believer and still show Christ's love? As my precious friend Grant used to say, "That's the slippery slope." What does it look like to love your child with a mother's heart and still show Christ's love to someone attacking your child, attacking your character as a mother, questioning your skills as a parent?

Oh, I'm definitely not one without pride, and I definitely care what others think about me. Probably, I care a little too much most of the time. This morning, though, as my stomach is filled with anxiety, and I run back and forth to the restroom, I am trying to discern Jesus' will for my MOUTH. I am perfectly capable of "dressing myself up" with a happy smile, a self-assured posture, and the look of someone excited to face the day. I'm not so capable of controlling my tongue when it comes to defending my children and even myself. Yes, Jesus, You know me! My MOUTH is the problem.

I honestly don't know what form the confrontation will take today, but I am certain that it will come. I have three valentine parties at school, and it could quite possibly appear at two of those parties. I'd like to just cry, take my "part" of the parties to school, drop the items off, and feign a migraine. And I could do just that; however, there are two problems with that scenario. Foremost is that my children would be sad. They don't care about adult confrontation; they care about their momma's showing up and being a part of their special day. I WON'T let the scariness of the word confrontation cause me to disappoint my babies! And secondly, probably most important to God, is that this confrontation seems to be preordained. I have a sense that God is asking me to walk through this in the power of the Holy Spirit, that my words and actions today are part of a much bigger plan. As my sweet friend Amy told me last night, He may be asking me to "take one for the team."

Instead of seeing this as my character on the line, my parenting being an issue, my child being accused, perhaps I should instead view this as God's character being on the line. Maybe today, instead of being the scared warrior hiding in her house, God is asking me to put on His armor and be the soldier He has called me to be - not to fight for my rights or those of my child, but to show the true character of a Christ follower, of His warrior.

Holy Spirit, fill me with Your love, Your compassion, Your empathy as You empty me of my pride, my own sense of justice. Let Your lamp truly be a light unto my path THIS day, and in the end, may You, Jesus, receive the glory and honor that You so rightly deserve!!